Bow before the Oracle

You usually hear the saying, “So-and-so is an avid blah-de-blah” and while the journalistic standard might veer into that territory and name my roommate J as an “avid video game player”, saying just “avid” would be a far, far cry from an apt description.

I hereby give kudos and salute J who, two Sundays ago, won our campus’s Guitar Hero contest. He easily won the competition, partially due to the lack of competitors, but still did really well in the spur of the moment. He came in from the cold, with stiff fingers and after not practicing for a couple of months. (And oh, yes, I can attest to that. The strumming control on the guitar controller echoed a dull, thunk thunk, around the apartment even when the music was turned down.)

So a hearty “Woo! Woo!” to and for him!

And now for something related, yet different enough, that warrants the title of this post.


It was the underrated student run radio station that was the sponsor of the Guitar Hero competition. Two years ago, I awkwardly nudged a completely dense programming director in hopes of fishing for something a bit more than conceptual talk about faux journalism. This year, I put my name in a fish bowl for a chance at a iPod shuffle.

This year, I won. Huzzah! Much better odds methinks.

Beyond the Shuffle being the most expensive thing that I’ve ever won, I had read this article where the writer talks about having this magical moment with her iPod. She went running during a beautiful morning and the shuffle function gave her eerily accurate mood and atmosphere matching theme music. She then pondered the power and if it can be used for good.

So how about fortune-telling and advice giving? [iChing! Get it! Bwaha!]

What clinched the idea for trying this here was my experience trying it with HWSNBN. After very seriously asking me if I’ve lost my mind because I was whispering reverently to my Shuffle and after about ten very cynical minutes trying entertaining my theory, he yells out in frustration, “Fine, Jesus, what is the meaning of life then?”

He got a song which had no lyrics. Ah, the humor of the universe. I found it amusing. No, I don’t remember what the title was, but I think it was a Moby song. I didn’t tell him that. He may have jumped out of my car.

So let’s get this party started – one question, three answers to analyze. O Oracle, give me some sugar.

How is this semester going to end?

Flogging Molly – Raise What’s Left of the Flag
Chemical Brothers – Under the Influence
Oasis – The Master Plan

Well the Flogging Molly didn’t sound to promising, and while I would like to be under the influence, particularly with a bit o’ fire water, none of that has recently occurred. The last song strikes me as the nugget here. I had to laugh when it played too. The Master Plan? Too obvious, Oracle, too obvious.

Take the time to make some sense
Of what you want to say
And cast your words away upon the waves

But ultimately, it sounds like it’s not really going to be up to me in the end, so all I can do is just do my best.

Am I going to get the GA position for the fall?

Madonna – Beautiful Stranger
Moulin Rouge Sdtrk – Hindi Sad Diamonds
Oasis – Slide Away

Oracle, don’t get impatient, we’ll get to the tall, dark handsome man I will encounter next semester teaching – wait, what? “Sad Diamonds”? Sad? Not good at all. It’s up to the Best Band Ever to tell me what’s what.

Slide away – and give it all you’ve got
My today – fell in from the top

Alright, alright, give it my best. I hear ya. Sheesh.

Am I ever going to get over the people I need to? Wait, wait – let’s divvy this up.
1. Let’s address, A. Because we all know that this needs to die already. Help me Oracle!

Chemical Brothers – Out of Control
Gwen Stefani – What Are You Waiting For?
Train – Drops of Jupiter

Let’s look at the lyrics:

Sometimes I feel that I missunderstood
The rivers run and deep right through my thought

Why yes. And then:

What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting for

Tick-tock, tick-tock
Tick-tock, tick-tock
Take a chance you stupid hoe

Did you just call me a whore? Don’t get frisky Oracle, there is always Ebay for you. As for the Train song, I really don’t even like it. I downloaded it years ago because a friend [Hi K!] recommended it to me. I read the lyrics…and it all made much more sense.

She acts like summer and walks like rain
Reminds me that theres time to change, hey, hey
Since the return from her stay on the moon
She listens like spring and she talks like June, hey, hey

Tell me did you sail across the sun
Did you make it to the milky way to see the lights all faded
And that heaven is overrated

Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star
One without a permanent scar
And did you miss me while you were looking at yourself out there

Goddess imagery anyone?

2. How about B? B worries me sometimes. B is like the undead – same physique, too.

INXS – Elegantly Wasted
The Cure – Boys Don’t Cry
Toto – Africa

He accuses me sometimes of only enjoying his company when I drink, which is not true, but makes Elegantly Wasted very funny. Boys Don’t Cry – yes, they do. Do not buy into that darn stereotype. But you know, I’m starting to not want to fight it anymore.

Please, Toto, take it away:

It’s gonna take a lot to drag me away from you
There’s nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do
I bless the rains down in Africa
Gonna take some time to do the things we never had

I seek to cure what’s deep inside, frightened of this thing that I’ve become

Okay, a practical question with just one shot for the Oracle – why is the odometer in my car spiking for no apparent reason?

Timo Maas – Hash Driven

No, Oracle. God. You’re as bad as my parents. I am not smoking pot and seeing the spiking of the odometer. I’m not lesbian either. Sheesh.

Anyone else want to give my Oracle a whirl?

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6 Responses to Bow before the Oracle

  1. E says:

    How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?

  2. firewings says:

    That’s a fine, fine question.

    O Oracle –

    Byran Adams – Run to You

    I say the Tootsie Roll has been around quite a bit at that point, and thusly, is a cheating whore. Do not lick it.

  3. eatsbugs says:

    Will my gaming group ever get around to doing something about itself?

  4. thebutton says:

    Oh wise Oracle, will my child be a girl?

    Ooooh, then we can test the answer on the 13th hehehe.

  5. K says:

    Wow! It’s as if the eight ball has come back in disguise! Amazing, and available in 50 easy payments of $24.99!

    Hmmm, I wonder if it really works? What are your thoughts oh wise peach?

    If it should work then it must pass my rigorous tests!

    1.) When will I win the lottery?
    2.) What exactly is the road less traveled?
    3.) Does 2 + 2 really equal 4?

    Answer those! I double dog dare you …

    As for your posting. Well done! I’m impressed. You’ve even added song lyrics … your blog is now complete!

    -K

  6. EricM says:

    Moulin Rouge! soundtrack……..I thought I was the only one who had that cd. Yikes! Then again, its not surprising my crush on Nicole Kidman was on over-drive back in the summer of 2001.

    I assure you, its finished………mostly.

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