Kowtowing before The Oracle: Pas de Deux with You!

The Oracle is coming to you semi-live – free to you, loyal readers of Indecisive Peach. Her priestess recommends offerings of cake and brownies. Plus alcohol…The Oracle sees clear and far and wide with lubing, er…offerings.


First to K, The Oracle scoffs at tests, but will humor you nonetheless. Let’s give the first two a three song analysis and then the last will be a one song shot.

When will I win the lottery?

Blumchen – Ich Bin Wieder Hier
The Rolling Stones – Sympathy for the Devil
Orbital – Tunnel Trance

I, uh, think The Oracle is warming up with the first one. Because “I Am Here Again”? Wait, the lyrics are promising:

Ich hab’ geträumt ich kann fliegen so hoch wie ich will
Frei wie ein Vogel hab’ ich mich dabei gefühlt

I dreamed that I can fly as high as I want
Free like a bird I felt while doing it

Free because you have…money? K, are you the Devil? Because then, good news, The Oracle and/or the Rolling Stones are sympathetic to your cause. Or maybe, you need to sell your soul for the winning ticket. Hmm. You’ll have to find that number on your own. I think there is a tunnel and zombification somewhere there too. The Devil doesn’t play fair, I hear.

What exactly is the road less traveled?

Max Melvin – Sand
Yes – Owner of a Lonely Heart
System of a Down – Science

The road is sandy and lonely? That somehow…would make sense, right?

What does SoaD say:

Predicting the future of things we all know
Fighting off the diseased programming
Of centuries, centuries, centuries, centuries

So the road is less traveled because there is a glitch in the system a la The Matrix. And it’s sandy and lonely. …I think I know why the caged bird sings, or rather, doesn’t fly down the less traveled road; it sounds pretty bleak.

Does 2 + 2 really equal 4?

Ekova – Todosim

Given that I had no idea what the chick in Ekova is saying, I go to find lyrics. Find is the key word, because I did not. Instead, “Ekova makes music that literally transcends language, as singer Diedre Dubois sings lyrics in English, French, and no known language — sounds that simply feel right.” I think The Oracle senses that 2 plus 2 feels pretty right, too.

Ah, the rigerous world of gaming. The Oracle is the proper entitiy to ask. Three songs for D, who asks, Will my gaming group ever get around to doing something about itself?

The Offspring – The Kids Aren’t Alright
3 Doors Down – When I’m Gone
Rammstein – Reise, Reise

It makes you laugh too, right, D? Man, this group is never going to get off the ground and you should totally skeddadle. [There is a debate for Reise being used in the sense of ‘trip’ or ‘arisen’. Either way, just don’t waste your time.]

Oh wise Oracle, will my child be a girl?

The Oracle thanks you thebutton, for you have already included the flattering, but not mandatory, groveling prologue to your question. Although The Oracle hints that really you should ask your husband or his Oracle[s] because in theory, he’s already decided, albeit unconciously, on whether on not it is a boy or girl. But nevertheless The Oracle promises to give its best shot on the question. Let’s have ‘em:

Remy Zero – Save Me
Sarah McLachlan – Possession
Engima – Mea Culpa

I think The Oracle really, really does not want to even take a gander in the cards here. It senses the hankering for purchasing specifically colored curtains and bedsheets and wants none of that. It apologizes.

And last, for E, who asked again, Since it’s already 2007 and we’re a little behind schedule, I was wondering when will be finally be able to purchase a flying car? Or at least a hover board?

Noir – Copperia No Hitsugi
The Smiths – How Soon Is Now
Afro Celt Sound System – Only In My Dreams

My, my. I think this is a hearty, “Hell to the No.” Starting with a Japanese song, how fun…but sadly, looking at the lyrics –

I can’t see with these eyes
The god that created us from pebbles
Coppelia’s Coffin
People are dolls tired from dancing
Sheep on the altar
The mechanical dreams

Not very promising? Mechanical Dreams? No, I think not. How soon is now? That is a good question, if absurd, because WE WERE PROMISED FLYING CARS. [Commander Sisko demands an explanation.] And lastly, ACSS nails the coffin closed reminding us that flying cars are something that will probably never happened outside the dreamworld.

Any other takers?

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13 Responses to Kowtowing before The Oracle: Pas de Deux with You!

  1. E says:

    The Oracle is in a bitter mood today…

  2. Obviously says:

    Hmm. A question then. What are the chances of the sun exploding tomorrow? Or how does the oracle answer: If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn.

    Couldn’t think of any real good ones. I’ll try to come back later when I have one …

  3. firewings says:

    The Oracle will answer your question but says to remind you that it does not deal in chance, but in possibilty.

    The priestess questions the difference. However…

    What are the chances of the sun exploding tomorrow?

    Staind – Suffer
    NIN – All The Love in World

    Wow, The Oracle is super negative today. This bodes fairly badly. Especially, NIN’s “The stars are all a fire in the sky.” But thinking theoretically, doesn’t the sun have surface explosions every day? Sun flares? Someone, get me a an astronomy major stat.

    If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

    Underworld – Jumbo
    Freezepop – Emotions and Photons

    Huh. I think The Oracle sees swelling and feels the empathy of the Near Death Syndrome. Interesting.

  4. thebutton says:

    Oooh I think the Oracle needs a Midol. *hides*

  5. K says:

    haha! needs a midol ….

    *starts to throw midol pills from a minimum distance of 1000 feet to appease the oracle*

  6. The Rebuker says:

    *bearing a tray of triple-fudge brownies laced with midol and valium*

    O Oracle, Bringer of Light, Carrier of Gigabytes,
    Answer my queries so that I may be enlightened, or at least entertained . . .

    1) Is my family ready for pet ownership?
    2) Is going to graduate school really worth all the crippling debt?
    3) Will I ever bear a man-child to carry on the family name?
    4) Are American standards of beauty too unrealistic or are we really just fat and in need of teeth whiteners?

  7. E says:

    If the Oracle is beholden to whatever Ms. F-Wings has on her computer, and Ms. F-Wings has a naturally skewed set of preferred songs, does the Oracle really have free will?

  8. The Rebuker says:

    In defense of the Oracle, F-wings does seem to have a mind-bogglingly wide range of music at her disposal. Maybe it’s mostly-free will.

    Also, what do you call this particular type of fortune-telling? Shufflemancy?

  9. The Rebuker says:

    C’mon now, Oracle. Four days!? If I wanted to wait that long for a reply I would have put all those critical thinking skills I paid for to good use and answered the questions myself.

    I’m lazy, though, and disinclined to think critically about anything that isn’t for a grade, so , uh, have a nice day.

  10. firewings says:

    *leans back on pillows munching triple-fudge brownies*

    Sorry, sorry! I had to make it make to world of solid food and without me, The Oracle has no voice.

    1) Is my family ready for pet ownership?

    Fiona Apple – Fast As You Can
    Deathcab For Cutie – Soul Meets Body
    Joe Walsh – Ordinary Average Guy

    I was hoping to get Porno For Pyros “Pets” to really clinch the decision here, but I had to laugh at the last one. I heard Ordinary Average Guy first when I was about nine or ten and this part still make me giggle.

    And every Saturday we work in the yard
    Pick up the dog doo
    Hope that it’s hard (Arf, Arf!)

    Overall, The Oracle and I are really with Ms. Apple on this one, get yerself to a pound quickly, because there are souls in those bodies! [Ouch. Yeah, I had no other place to throw that in.]

    2) Is going to graduate school really worth all the crippling debt?

    Talking Heads – And She Was
    Duran Duran – White Lines
    Nine Inch Nails – Into the Void

    From And She Was –

    she was floatin’ above it and she was –
    Joining the world of missing persons and she was –
    Missing enough to feel alright and she was – and she was –

    Positive!

    Or you have to sell cocaine to do it…because Duran Duran is talking about not about lines on the street or on a cake. Oh no, no, no.

    But take the plunge into the void, because aren’t I picture of mental stability now that I’m here in the world of the academy? Right? RIGHT? *tears*

    *sniffles* I’m good. Back to finances. Oh yeah, those are crap. Not that I have to deal with them now, thank you Student Loans!

    3) Will I ever bear a man-child to carry on the family name?

    Mazzy Star – So Tonight That I Might See
    Staind – It’s Been A While
    Zero Seven – Give It Away

    Thank you Rebuker, you’ve given me the chance to look up what the hell Mazzy Star is saying on that track. I was never a stoner, but this song always vicariously makes me feel like one.

    Come so close that I might see, see the light come down on me
    Searching like the fresh goes by small like wind refuse to die
    Free me now so I can see the taste of wind who lock me
    Does the wind indeed like me
    Does the wind indeed like me

    Ouch, I think you’re going to have to toke up to figure those lyrics out. But like any songwriter, I’m sure they mean A LOT to her though.

    The Staind song has bad juju. BAD. *spits* Still bad.

    And even though Zero Seven’s Give It Away is a nice flowy song, I don’t think it bodes well in conclusion. Or, as the eight ball would say, Concentrate and Ask Again.

    4) Are American standards of beauty too unrealistic or are we really just fat and in need of teeth whiteners?

    Yes.

    What – you wanted The Oracle’s answer. Right.

    The Who – Won’t Get Fooled Again

    Thank you The Who, that was succinct. [I do find it suspicious, Rebuker, that I’m getting an awful look of hippy music. *eyes you* What is up with that.]

  11. The Rebuker says:

    *quickly tosses bottle of patchouli oil under nearest celestial-themed tapestry*

    I never actually listened to Mazzy Star but I always thought they (she?) were a heroin band, not a pot band. On an unrelated note I always thought it was kind of ironic that the lead singer of the iconically ‘weed-y’ band Sublime died of a heroin overdose. Way to reinforce that whole “gateway drug” thing, Bradley.

    And yes, F-Wings, you are a picture of mental stability. One picture in the loosely glued-together collage of mental stability I threw together one night.

  12. firewings says:

    What is with the F-Wings?

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