My senses wake up incrementally.

Earlier this week, at noon, in the kitchen:

“Did you use any of the milk? It’s bad. I was going to leave note this morning.”

Thinking back to a bowl of Trix and milk, “I…What now?”

“I said, the milk is bad.”

“The milk? I ate…That can’t be.” Turns to the fridge with a blank stare, grabs handle and shakily pulls out the milk jug.

“It smelled bad to me.”

Opens cap, gingerly moves nose ove-

“Christ! What the hell!”

“What did I tell you.”


Goes back to eating as a cover for amusement.

“I was wondering…why my Trix was a little…pungent.”

Burst of laughter, replied with a sigh.

“It’ll be okay.”

“I’m a gonna die.”

“No, that’s what the peanut butter was for.”

“Great. I’ve been conducting a makeshift immunization on myself – fantastic.”


4 Responses to My senses wake up incrementally.

  1. E says:

    At some point you’re going to put a warning on your refrigerator, telling all ye that enter that due to recurrent events all food must be checked by date and list of dangerous and/or recalled items as decreed by the FDA. Something snazzy, you know?

  2. The Rebuker says:

    Hmm. Gross. I think E has the right idea here. Perhaps a hermetically sealed plastic bubble around all your foodstuffs could halp as well.

    On a tangentially related note, one thing they never tell you when you have a baby is that you must clean baby’s neck frequently because milk (breast, bottle, other) spills into their little flabby neck creases when they drink. Then you, the unsuspecting loved one, go to kiss said flabby neck crease and are greeted with the wretched odor of spoiled milk. Not a good mother-child association.

  3. eatsbugs says:

    This sort of thing is why I am afraid of milk. After 22 years, I still can’t properly identify the smell of “good” milk vs. “bad” milk. It’s really a stab in the dark mixed with a really cold fridge and a religious application of the sell-by date.

  4. Sarah says:

    My grand mother freezes half gallons. She says they last for six months. So you always have to smell the milk because even thought it;s august the date on your milk could still be May.

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