When Clothes Become a Liability

I’ve started to realize that I love soft shirts. I don’t care if they’re pink or oversized or undersized, I like soft shirts. A while back I ran across a half off of the Clearance rack on Hot Topic. (I know. I do know.) Rummaging through I found a marvelously soft long black tank top, on the front, in red script was, “I dig pale, scrawny guys.” I chuckled since this is a pretty accurate statement, and since it was three dollars, I took it with me.

I hadn’t really worn it except for around the house. When I was at my parents’, my Mom folded it after washing it and asked me, “What does scrawny mean?”
“Skinny, no muscles.”
Her brow twitches and she says, “This… is true.”

Today I decided to wear it to work, figuring, I sit alone, I can wear pretty much anything. I meander out to lunch and stop by to chat with R at the reference desk. We talk for a couple of seconds when a guy stands up from the row of computers in the lobby. He’s clad in complete skin tight bicycle gear, complete with Spandex Daisy Dukes. And while I can get behind biking, I cannot get behind The Spandex.

I try to lock eyes with R and toss them quickly in his direction. She looks over quizzically and her eyes widen slightly. Before we can catch our glances together he walks over. He speaks to R, “My browser is locked up.” R jumps up to assure him to help him and walks to get out from behind the desk.

The man turns to me and flashes a wide smile and I catch the strangely large size of his canines. “You like scrawny guys? Pick me, pick me,” he says and slightly hops with each “pick me.”

“I, um… well,” and fade into my ‘Boy am I uncomfortable but I’m going to fake it with laughter’ chuckle. I toss out, “I’m going to lunch” to R and scuttle away thinking that maybe I really should just wear this one inside-out in public. That’ll teach me.

Also, unrelated – I remembered that I don’t like long hair! Funny that.
Before:
Before
After:
After

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11 Responses to When Clothes Become a Liability

  1. E says:

    I wasn’t sure what to expect from a post entitled “When Clothes Become a Liability”… Hmm.

  2. firewings says:

    Expecting something more tawdry, eh? I apologize.

    Well, here: imagine I’m wearing no pants in either picture. That should up the level.

  3. E says:

    Strangely, just the other day my friend referred to that practice as “Donald Duck-ing it.” (Shirt and no pants.) I’m not exactly sure why he told me that or why that has anything to do with anything.

  4. firewings says:

    I wonder if Donald Duck has a soft shirt.

    Random thought.

  5. E says:

    Did he need a soft shirt? He did have feathers.

  6. Thebutton says:

    Oh yes, we’ve gotta be careful with the wording of our clothes. I had one that said Million $ Girl and I had several guys try to make the pick up line, “Can I be your Million $ guy?” Um, no.

  7. Thebutton says:

    Oh yeah, love the hair by the way!

  8. eatsbugs says:

    Oddly, the second picture reminds me of Sylvia Plath. Take that for what its worth.

    Do you remember how much Misty liked Plath? Is that telling?

  9. firewings says:

    Time to go stick my head in an oven.

    It probably is telling.

  10. Frank says:

    The Spandex is essential for comfort on longer rides…don’t want no chaffing saddle soreness. Plus, it makes you go fast. Nice haircut, btw.

  11. […] Short! So…um, have a lot of hair chopsticks. Oops. […]

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