This is not typical. Yet.

Nearly five minutes ahead of schedule before leaving for work, I gather my thoughts.
Wallet, check.
Keys, check.
Lunch, yes.
Phone. Phone… Phone?

I walk into my room slowly, puzzled. I glance at the spot on top of my three foot lava lamp which serves as my phone holder, the charging cord lies at the base. No phone. I scan the room and my eyes trail over my landline phone. Naturally, I could call my cell. Then I remember that I may just have turned my phone to vibrate or beep once. Dammit.

I dial the number, tilting my ears to catch any sound in the room.


Aha! Where dost thou hide ye ingrate of a phone? In the room, eh? I hear you. I redial.


I fall to my knees; my body stiff mimicking a pointer trying to flush out a bird. I heard it.

Did I throw it on my bed? Cursing that I’m wasting time I tear through my sheets, waving my blankets like a flag, which causes the poor cat to dig her toes frantically into the carpet to propel herself out the room.

I look around. It’s staring at me I’m sure. It’s hiding from me. I call it again.


Under the bed sham? I flip up the checkered sham. Nothing. Laying innocently on one of my shelf? I narrow my eyes and curse my various knickknacks, all about the size of a small phone.

I sit, take a breath, redial.


It’s so…

Close. Sitting on the floor, I tap my left back pocket where I usually keep it. Nothing.

I put my head against my hand and I shift my butt on the floor – ach! I lift my hand to pat the other side. I feel the hard outline of my phone.

I’m losing my damn mind.


6 Responses to This is not typical. Yet.

  1. eatsbugs says:

    That’s like when my dad thought he lost his wallet and started to pad his body over to feel for it, only to discover he was padding his body with the wallet he held in his hand.

  2. firewings says:

    Heh, that sounds like something I would do.

  3. E says:

    I’ve done the same thing, though it was a slight variation: I was looking all over for my keys and couldn’t find them, using my hand to feel my pockets with no success, then looking around again, until finally looking down and realizing I was holding them in my other hand.

  4. Freddy says:

    Ja suchen wir denn alle unsere Telefone? Detti hat gestern das Telefon im Garten vergessen und ich bin mit spitzen Ohren hinter dem Klingeln her gehastet. Da lobe ich mir noch die guten alten Zeiten, als die Telefone noch an Strippen festgebuden an einem festen Ort zu finden waren.

  5. firewings says:

    I agree – what’s worse is that some of these cell phones are so itty bitty; they could be anywhere, lurking.

    But that’s probably just my paranoia talking.

  6. Thebutton says:

    I do that with my blasted hair brush. I wave it around in front of my face while tearing apart the house looking for it. Hello, that purple blur before your eyes is the very thing you’re looking for!

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