‘paranoia is total awareness’ – My New Personal Motto

After a couple of slips of the mind, I ended up in municipal court for the first time this morning, trying to dismiss a ticket for having expired plates. [I’m such a dirty, dirty criminal.] In doing so, I got to be with people that I normally don’t have exposure to. [But methinks with two or three drinks in me, I really should.]

At 7:30 in the morning a line of people stretched out from the door of the court, which would open at eight, lazily wrapped itself around the ramp, and stretched out a bit further down the street. I took my spot in the queue.

There was this strange sense of camaraderie through the line; the Man was getting us all down. We were all in the same boat. Floating questions with the same hum of, “What are you in for?” ate up time. After some chatting, two men a couple people behind me discovered that the same cop gave them a ticket for the same thing on the same day. The overweight man with the stubble and the John Deere hat proclaimed to the hapless 20-something prep, “This gotsa to be a conspiracy. Dontcha think?”

[Also witnessed, an honest-to-goodness arrest. With handcuffs! A young Latina, a moment away from fake tears, muttered to her mother that it wasn’t her, while the weather-burnt mother cocked her head and denied paying her bail. Nice.]

I think whatever vibe of gallant criminal camaraderie and its ensuing thoughts and behaviors caught up with me as I sat in the previews for the movie 1408. Bear with me, here’s a conspiracy theory.

Seeing the preview for the movie Captivity [Oh – The Invasion looks neat!], I went back to wondering about the “new” film genre of Torture Porn, e.g. films like Hostel and Saw, which allows people to sit and watch the emulation of the terror and fear and decay and disgust of death and dying while munching steadily on their popcorn.

J said earlier, after I confided my new “all crazy and yet all true” conspiracy theory, that this sort of imagery has been around a while, albeit more graphic and underground. Now it seems to becoming mainstream and I question why.

Here’s my theory:

What if there was an institution promoting Torture Porn for the greater good? What if they [insert government entity, religious sect, or Bigfoot] decided that yes, some people are indeed born evil, and do enjoy the creation of pain in others? How would they go about fighting that with a cure-all Koolaid for the Krazy pawns that came from a strange Darwinian hiccup?

What if Torture Porn was a way to placate these people? What if these people could buy a ticket, shuffle into the theater, smile into the darkness, and continue on with their lives without bringing some of their deeper desires into fruition?

Eh? Eh? Anyone?


Am I one breath away from proclaiming the common conspiracy thread of extraterrestrial life?; will I be soon found splayed unconscious on a fishing boat reeking of alcohol?; will a beautiful red-head finally come for E?


In other news, the trash can rattling around in the hallway is from my cat engaging in lewd behavior with said can because I sprayed it with Lysol. Catnip? She walks away from with just a hint of a scowl and annoyance. Spray down the can with Lysol? Mad, orgasmic love. Interestingly enough, same reaction with Dragon’s Blood incense – have yet to formulate a conclusion on this.


6 Responses to ‘paranoia is total awareness’ – My New Personal Motto

  1. I think I agree with your insane ramblings that have no basis in reality.

  2. firewings says:

    Huzzah, a convert!

  3. Well, how could anyone possibly disagree with it?

  4. firewings says:

    Because that would be crazy talk!

  5. eatsbugs says:

    Have you tried sleeping at regular intervals? Cause it sounds like you don’t. ^_^

  6. Pfft, Sleep is just another conspiracy.

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