Awkward. And also too dramatic.

A look, a gasp, a quick jab into J’s ribs, returned with a reply gasp. Our gasps were not related.

“Oh man,” I duck into an aisle, suddenly in a Metal Gear Solid mode.

“Where did you go?” is plaintively yelled after me.

One arm reaches from behind a wooden display case and yanks a black t-shirt and its wearer into the aisle.

“You have to trust me.”
“What the -?” is mumbled into thin air.

Turn, lean against display, turn, walk straight toward the door, eyes kept straight ahead, purposeful steps. A slow plodding is heard behind me. “Can you just – ”

A snap of the head and a low voice, “Truuuuuuuuuuust me.”
A sigh.

Out of the doors, into the parking lot, sidestep in front of the column, walk against the building, again – with purposeful steps. Normal, casual steps behind me, “What the hell?”

Back in normal operation and with no flashing red lights, “See…that was that guy that I went to coffee with…that online dude. The mullet. The painful sideburns.”
“Oh. Yeah…So?”
“He thought I was stellar…. I…did not return the sentiment.”
“That doesn’t explain -”
“He was the one that told me that drinking was a turn off and proceeded to tell me how wasted he got in Turkey. He then e-mailed me wanting to ‘do dinner’. Heavens to Betsy. So…I, um, ignored him. Repeatedly.”
A blank stare.

Hissing, “This is why internet dating is bad. BAD!”


12 Responses to Awkward. And also too dramatic.

  1. Wait wait…Why would you NOT want to date a dude with a mullet? Those are rocking.

  2. E says:

    The hypno-fish command you.

    That site sucked.

  3. firewings says:

    Oh MY LANDS – what was I thinking? The mullet will make a comeback – I could have one trendy man on my hands. Then I’d get a she-mullet, some snazzy trendy denim jackets and call my life GOOD.

  4. E says:

    I think there is something up with your response, but I can’t put my finger on it… 😛

  5. firewings says:

    Ah, the bitter leading the bitter.

  6. eatsbugs says:

    No *swats with newspaper* NO. Bad Peach, bad! We will not get a she-mullet. We will not date or encourage other mullet-wearing people! No!

  7. firewings says:

    I’m sorry…*shakes head* I had a weak moment.

  8. Sarah says:

    Nice evasion tactics:)

  9. Kallie_Pigeon says:

    Now, now: the fe-mullet is a decision every woman has to make for herself. Don’t be dissuaded by naysayers. Then again, don’t be persuaded by messed-up rhetors-in-training looking for a cheap laugh.

  10. Josh says:

    Noooooo female mullet for you peach.

  11. Thebutton says:

    Mullets should be banned, period. Those with mullets should all get dragged to Alabama or Arkansas, us non-mulleters choose and that will be where they can live forever (I was gonna say breed too but just the image that went through my mind made me wanna hurl). Hey, not much work to be done, most of ’em live there anyway hehe.

    Um, and from a woman who found her dear hubby on the net, not all internet dating is bad. Ya just gotta weed through the icky ones until you find that yummy treat you can’t live without.

  12. firewings says:

    Yummy treat…that…huh. Sounds savory.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: