One is a fine number

I sat in class the other day and across the table sprang up a discussion of only children, stemming from one classmate mentioning that she wasn’t raised to be a “girly-girly”. A few seats down, another gal mentioned how both girls knew immediately when they met that they were only children. Both girls are talkative and boisterous and one said, nodding knowingly, “You can pretty easily figure out who’s an only child.”

I felt like a ninja only child.

I’m on the non-boisterous end of the only child spectrum. I think that’s due to shuffling around the world as a child and developing the habit of being the observer before being a participant. It’s interesting that I’ve stumbled into rhetoric because the art of persuasion manipulation is something you tend to learn as an only child. A line from the movie Now and Then struck me a long time ago. It said that a only child is “a typical upbringing for actors and pathological liars.”

I’ve enjoyed being an only child. The only downside is that I can’t hand off my daughter duties to a brother or sister with a harried phone call saying, “Deal with them already; I’m done for the week.” A lot of people seem skeptical to raising only children, but I would recommend it. My personal study seems to show that middle children have more issues than any only child I’ve ever met.

I’m going to try and have two children though. I would enjoy watching the dynamic even if I wasn’t able to experience it. And I can’t say I won’t be above goading them into fighting in the backseat like weevils in a small bag of flour.  It’s damn hard to provoke the classic “Don’t make me turn this flippin’ car around” when you’re alone in the backseat.


8 Responses to One is a fine number

  1. K says:

    Wow. That’s a side I’ve never seen before, having kids …Just curious if you feel any sense of urgency at this point in your life? I only ask because I know a few ladies who are going on 26 and basically trying to marry anybody for the sake of marriage and eventually kids …


  2. eatsbugs says:

    Urgency? Not so much that as ennui at not having them. That’s my guess.

  3. firewings says:

    I really want a dog.

  4. Kallie_Pigeon says:

    I actually thought about this after class, which is why I brought it up tonight.

    “Hmmm…I could see Peach as an Only. Should ask her.”

    I stand by my Only Child Spider Sense. It was just slightly delayed. OC Ninja? Perhaps. But the true litmus test is if you liked to play as Dhalsim in Street Fighter. We Onlies like to keep our distance, after all.

  5. The Rebuker says:

    Only children of the world unite! Or would that be going against our very natures? As an only child who is the mother of an only child, I find this, and all our discussions about only-childhood, very affirming.
    If there are Only Child Ninjas, could I be an Only Child Pirate? I was quiet and ninja-like at home around my parents but very everybody-look-at-me! when I got out into the world.

  6. firewings says:

    Arrrr…You know, that’s just buying into the Hot Topic sponsored propaganda and I’m not for it.

    How about the Only Child Chimera? That seems on par with OCN on the myth level.

  7. Sarah says:

    Glad my life is serving some perpous aye??!!!;)lol

  8. Thebutton says:

    I dated a few middle children. They were a bit neglected it seemed. That’s why I only want two.

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