Special Snowflake

My Mom takes a cursory interest on how I handle my schoolwork at best. She came to the realization long ago that fretting about my procrastination is probably the least productive worrying that she can do. As I spoke to her last night at about ten, I yawned into the phone, “I have to start the work on my presentation for tomorrow morning.”

“I hate it when you tell me things like that,” she replied dryly.

Apathy is my friend and cohort when comes to the repercussions of procrastination. As I sat down to give my presentation this morning bleary-eyed from watching TV too late more so than staying up and doing homework, I spread my hands on the table and thought back to my tried and true axiom in high school, “What’s the worst that could happen?”

And the presentation, on a wing and riding on a breath of a prayer, went smashingly in contrast to the spiral of hatred I thought I was going to encounter. Ayn Rand tends to bring out that chorus of negative sentiment, and I’m a wee bit sad that there was more nodding than indignation, even though I got to throw in the line that Ayn Rand “seems to have beef with Jesus.” Even against PhDboy I seemed to hold my own, to which he noted after class that he enjoyed that I had veritably “brought it” via my Rand arguments. (Hey, hey!)

In my second class, Camille (who comments here, but who I won’t out just in case, enthusiastically requested if she could make up a codename for herself) asked me if I bought into Rand completely. Like I mentioned to J and to which Camille spoke to in class, Rand holds up a mirror for examining how altruistic our motives are, but I don’t completely buy the idea that all men are islands unto themselves. Rand’s writing tends to not seem very clear to me and her explanations are a bit muddled…but I did run across her writings after I had issues with being told how condescending I am with my knowledge experimentation [Hi HWSNBN.] so being told that I should be proud of my accomplishments, that pride isn’t always a bad thing, and that without that sense of pride I’m not really going to progress any further, was really something I resonated with.

PhDboy then sat down next to Camille and again, “I read your blog…you know.” He nodded slowly, “Who’s calling me inconsistent?” After I stated I was leaving the party nameless, he laughed and just said that being inconsistent made him “more complex.”
“I read that too,” said Camille and jokingly said, “And I now like you less.”
I laughed, “You’re a mini Internet celebrity. Like Roger.”
PhDboy looked pleased for a split second until he blinked, “Roger the horse?”

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6 Responses to Special Snowflake

  1. eatsbugs says:

    I wish I was half a calm as you about presentations.

  2. firewings says:

    *snorts* I didn’t say I was calm.

  3. Coy says:

    I don’t know about you but procrastinating seems to go much better for me. I never could make a decent grade if I spent too much time on something. The best grades were always when I waited for the last minute.
    I guess I missed your entry on Roger the horse. I had to go back and read it. Too bad you never got to ride our horses with me. You seemed to like the cowboy thing then :P. I probably had a spare pair of boots for you too.

  4. K says:

    ::gasps:: is that COY, THE COY? Or an impersonator? Your a phony until you can prove otherwise! kidding …

  5. The Rebuker says:

    See, when we were talking earlier today I had absolutely no idea who we were referring to as inconsistent and, in my infinite narcissism, I thought we were talking about me, and now I’m all embarassed because it’s okay to be narcissistic here on your blog but (for some reason) not in real life.
    That said, inconsistency should never be mistaken for complexity. Complexity is at best intriguing and at worst provocative. Inconsistency is just plain annoying.

  6. firewings says:

    Re: Coy – Yes, I do much better with procrastination as well. I work better under pressure for some reason, yet I wouldn’t want to live my life under the pressure cooker… I’m definitely not a Type A personality.

    And also, I did like the cowboy thing! I do remember making subversive comments about how we should, you know, nudge, nudge, the horses. Look at them sitting there…you know…unridden. You were distracted by my femininity. (I was distracted by your cat, we’re even.) I hadn’t mastered my inner voice to the outer voice that my classmate heard: “EEEEIII I wants to ride HORSIES.”

    At my age it’s a bit silly. ^_^

    Re Rebuker: I could tell that I wasn’t being very clear earlier. It’s interesting that I can tell when someone hasn’t understood what I’m talking about but I’m lazy about correcting it. Just like there is this super friendly girl in a couple of my classes that loves to call me by my name…except she uses the wrong name. It’s my name…wrong inflection. Poor gal. Poor me because I can’t bring it to her attention.

    Inconsistency is annoying. *snorts again with laughter* But damn dude, damn – I can forgive that for some diversion.

    There I go with my Dudes again. (Ooh, multiple levels. Very nice; go me.)

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