I have a lot of guy friends. In fact, out of my four closest friends, only one is female, who sadly is 9 hours away. What is up with that ratio? I realized a while back during the year’s mandatory “Crap, all my good pants have holes” shopping extravaganza that I really could have used someone that tells me that my putukas does not work that pair of pants. J will tag along, but he tends to get narcoleptic on me, sleeping in dressing room chairs.
To betray the home team, it’s not just all about clothes shopping. Not really the biggest fan, I’m too cheap and it is a lil’ boring. It’s something else I’m missing and I can’t quite put my finger on it.
The last girl that I really clicked with came from Austria. We hung out and did quintessential girly things, like admiring guys and dying hair. Our illogicality linked in a way that we both thought that we must be related. This wasn’t too far off. When discussing our backgrounds, it turned out that her grandmother and my grandfather grew up in towns about twenty kilometers away. Small world. Sadly, not small enough when she went back to Austria.
The thing that I like about men, even my friends who are a bit more in touch with their sensitivity, is that they are focused. They are logical, they do have the Problem = Solution way to address situations, and they do extend my thinking away from the neurotic. I sometimes severely need this. This though might be why I get frustrated with my sense of femininity, I don’t have anything to really reflect it.
But I think I would like that solidarity that was probably brainwashed into me when I was a 12 year old Spice Girls convert. Turns out Girl Power was a crock. Now I try to hang out with girls, but…at my age I think, how do you make close, female friends? How do you establish solidarity? How does that work? There are girls that I would love to just hang out with, but damn, asking them out to coffee feels like such a lesbian angle to me. There it is: it just seems icky.
Maybe I’ll ask them to go play ping pong with me.