I’m keeping my hair this time

Every time I leave a serious relationship, my instinct has been to cut my hair short. No, no – not cute bob, or sleek professional look, my choice diverts to the four inch man cut. Get those memories out and away. I want to be someone else, feel something else. It’s my way of mourning.

[Unbeknownst to me when chopping, this actually follows a lot of tribal and religious symbolism.]

After a disastrously short hair cut about four months ago, which was inspired by nothing more than boredom, my hair had been finally growing out. I could run my fingers through it, put it up at work, and have my bangs fall seductively into my eyes. After last week, I felt the shudder of the same urge strike through me, to try and cut away my stupidity as I was cut out of someone’s life.

Oddly, the next day I had an amazing hair day. You girls know what I’m talking about (perhaps you boys too) those days were you may schlep yourself around, but passing a mirror you think, “Damn, my hair looks GOOD. Look at it fall just right.” You don’t want to admit it, but you perk up quite a bit after noticing how fetching you look.

That’s the day I had and it made me not want to cut my hair this time. This time, it just doesn’t matter. It has to not not matter.

So I had a better idea, how about experimenting with hair loss that I hadn’t done before? Let’s step up my Perfect Eyebrow obsession I thought, which is why I just came back from getting my eyebrows waxed. It was quick and painless. While not changing too much, it left me with the idea that there may be a positive notion of hair loss, and thus loss in general, and how it may be a step toward improvement.


Contrasted with a great Sad Cow song:


I found this video after researching the vocals for a song that I had been listening to get me out of Sad Cow state, Love is an Ocean by RMB. Below:

Great upper I thought, love IS an ocean baby; lots o’ fish ahoy! …Darn you vocal sampling!

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5 Responses to I’m keeping my hair this time

  1. Mojobone says:

    You had the self-destruct feelings with the disolve of a relationship and you already know your favorite resolve is to cut your hair; does the other person need to resolve the end with dramatic flair?

  2. thebutton says:

    Really, waxing is less painful than plucking? Granted, the first time I ever had them plucked, a pregnant Russian lady went after my brows and I nearly cried. I have a high pain tollerance too. It’s easy to keep ’em in shape after you have the extra bits taken care of.

  3. firewings says:

    Re: Dramatic flair – No, his M.O. is just walking away and ending all contact. Perhaps because I don’t see any suffering on that end, I have to physically display mine? Who knows…

    Re: Waxing – Waxing was surprisingly easy. I felt like I was going to get a tattoo; it was the same level of anticipation because I knew the pain associated with that. After the three minutes, and after I was handed a brow wand (er, those exist?) for “training” my brows, I walked out a little disappointed with all the hype.

    Day Two, after the redness has somewhat subsided, it looks pretty darn good!

  4. Susanna says:

    sounds like we have sympathetic hair cutting urges. I thought I’d take the scissors to mine after I had a baby, but instead decided that I would actively NOT cut it. Like not cutting it was doing SOMETHING– actually a more radical something, for me, since CUTTING it would be the more expected option. Probably I’m just making stuff up because I’m finally having good hair/head days now that I’ve lost some baby weight.

  5. thebutton says:

    Hmm…I think I’ll stick to tweezing. On a side note, cutting my hair for you tomorrow.

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