IP Series, You tell me: Day 2, Of Forgery and Glee

Tell me about: field trips.
Topic submitted by CC, who was chasing her son around campus on a field trip.

The first field trip I ever went on, I forged the signature to go. For some reason I can’t quite recall now, I didn’t remember to get my parents to sign the approval slip. There was a small chance that they might have signed had they known about it; but in hindsight, since I was still about seven or eight, it was unlikely. My Mom was at that time in the Americans are Evil phase. Granted, she had grounds for that, as Utah on our arrival was going through a period of child abductions, but man, that did surely cramp my style.

My Dad’s signature was insanely easy to fake, a little scribble he learned to jot down as he was doing jet maintenance; a bit of a J, a hint of an M, very, very easy for a little kid. I think what lured me into my life of forgery was the chance to get to ride a bus. Buses were this illusive thing to me when I was little, it wasn’t until I was about 12 that I got to ride one with any regularity and there was a big, yellow-orange one waiting to take us to the garbage dump.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the garbage dump. I’ll leave it to you to speculate why you would take a group of second graders to the garbage dump and I don’t think that sort of dirty (literally and metaphorically) socialism was on our learning agenda.

Now, given that this was almost two decades ago [Holy crap], I remember only bits and pieces. Climbing on the bus, gleeful and impressed with myself that they had accepted my ruse, the large swaying magnet that pulled up blocks of compressed metal and dropped them onto a conveyor belt, and telling my Mom at the end of the day, “Guess what I did today!”


6 Responses to IP Series, You tell me: Day 2, Of Forgery and Glee

  1. Me says:

    Lol, what was her response when you said you forged a signature to go to the dump on a field trip?

    • firewings says:

      I think that was conveniently left out of the story and there was a puzzled look of, ‘They went to the dump?’ There might have been a “That’s…nice?”

  2. Dred Fraggle says:

    I seem to remember my first field trip being to one of the local dairies. I remember we had the “privileged” of watching a calf being born. I think it was at that point that I decided a) I don’t really like milk all that much and b) if it’s going to smell that bad, I’m never having kids.

  3. PhDeath says:

    I was involved in a preschool field trip to a local hospital. My mom, Saint of a Mother of an Only Child that she was, agreed to drive one of the groups in the her 1970s Mega Station Wagon that remain to me iconic of that era.

    Unfortunately, she was a lousy driver and got said Mega Wagon stuck between two concrete barriers intended to guide patrons out of the parking lot. Several back and forth, metal-screeching attempts later, she freed the car.

    I remember two things very clearly: I got my three and four year-old colleagues going on the chant, “We’re having an accident! We’re having an accident!” while the car was stuck and that my frazzled teacher lit up a smoke when we got back to the preschool.

  4. mom says:

    oh my goodness, i remember you taking that trip. Girl, you didn’t give us paper work to sign. That wasn’t nice. You know it was not easy to get used to the American way of life for me. Heck, i’m still working on it.

  5. The Amazing E says:

    My parents’ signatures were impractical for me to forge. My mom is a left-handed underwriter, so everything was all sorts of backwards and strange angles. My dad can somehow make any pen of any writing size look like a needletip pen. My heavy handed chicken scratches could not manage such tasks.

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